I came, I saw, I cried
probably cos that nasty guy was slapping my ass
I said, "Relax, Doc, relax"
obviously no one taught him how to throw a welcome party
i started screaming, shitting, pissing, eating and farting
and giving my parents all kinds of regret
days of wickedness i was lucky enough to forget
i rejected milk from the breast
Doc said it was best but i didnt trust him
if I had known the words i would have cussed him
and cursed the day i slipped into this earth
pay attention; that was the first birth.
I dont remember saying goodbye to my mother
i figured one lap was just as good as another
so i was content to board that plane
not foreseeing my life would always remain
a little bit out of the norm
slightly disfigured out of its regular form
because of that transcontinental flight
from infantile warmth to eternal night
out of her arms i'm told i was torn
this would be the second time i was born.
One yellow duck, sweet pepsi and loads of bugs
still a childhood filled with love and a few hugs
too young to roll with the thugs, i learned to read
and write and ride my bike, thats all i would need
as long as i could dwell in my brother's shadow
and never have to swim out passed the shallows
more planes, a train and a talking car
the jetset life for a kid leaves a lifelong scar
i super mario'd my way into pre-adolescence
where i learned one of life's hardest lessons
that there are no shadows when the room goes dark
so when big bro left i had to grow another heart
watching him and my sister leave must have been the worst day
upto that point in my life, which i will label my 3rd rebirth day.
New countries, new schools and new mistakes
who writes the rules that the rebel breaks?
i remember going in for my first kiss
eagerness and inexperience equals near miss
but no one saw so no one knew
phew!- what hell puberty is to go through
already wondering what life might have been had I left
almost as if fate had committed some grand theft
by robbing me of my balance of awkward confrontations
so i decided to become a part of the hip hop nation
but then Pac died, Biggie died and Ma$e got saved
as if the musical mirage around me suddenly caved
for the first time death almost seemed possible
we can consider this the 4th time i came home from the hospital.
Only one girl has had the power to break my heart
but she didnt have it in her to make me a cynic
so i belong to her forever, if only in part
for not sending me off to heartbreak clinic
we started dating the day we met
just like that, we just seemed to connect
and i could have spent years in that puppy love
and pretended that i was actually lucky enough
to always love the way she looked after me
but there was a burning truth i just had to see
and the truth hurts when its true she wont put you first
i learnt that breaking up is truly the worst
when there's been no fight or lovers' spat
years later i would be forced to re-live just that
but for then and for always she'll be my first cut
deep, lingering and heartwarming to look at
love you always, Angel, for whatever that's worth
this would count as my 5th new birth.
I was crushed by several painful crushes
never quite found love despite a few close brushes
skipped town and headed for the snowy land
where i struggled for much longer than i understand
one of man's greatest strengths is denial
because that leads to trial and retrial
never getting any closer to success
but remaining convinced that failure hurts less
and less with each step closer to the grave
i searched desperately for some soul i could save
and in that way fulfill my duty as God's invention
and then magically vanish into the next dimension
like Jesus did, except He had much cooler powers
so i gave up and just killed the hours
getting fat and growing my facial hair
i'd close my eyes and pretend i wasnt there
that i'd been sent to some isolated space station, to man it
then i'd open my eyes and for the 6th time, re-enter this planet.
Tough choices, dumb mistakes and not much learned
i burned down bridges when i left home
that i was forced to rebuild when i returned
because the streets are no place to live alone
and despite not having a clue as to where to go
i knew the things i certainly knew i didnt want to know
and distracted myself with that little bit of disinformation
took that time off for some spiritual reformation
discovered blogging and became a recluse
figured "unlimited cyberspace? might as well put it to good use."
meanwhile my life was going down the crapper
i, who once had the potential to be smart and look dapper
had somehow pissed away any friend i had ever had
at this point i had a deep one-on-one with my dad
and right in time, for i had been on the verge of submission
but he helped me quit all my whining and dumb bitching
and pick my life up out of the sewer
my 7th rebirth, my lives getting shorter and fewer.
After that, i was thrown into a different state of limbo
where i was "almost there" and always would be
i'd daydream of grasshoppers and kimbo
and thank Gman upstairs for setting me free
moved around abit more, resucitated my existance
life is tough and you gotta learn to be persistent
because maybe there IS something out there worth the struggle
you cant let rainy days just burst your bubble
i found my life filled with such mantras and sayings
it turns out Gman was listening to me praying
cos its about then i met my electrolove
who brought me back from a scary place
with the warmth of her voice and the smile on her face
and the exquisite beauty of her unique soul
for the first time in forever i began to feel whole
but "almost there" and yet never quite
suddenly it seemed that salvation was retreating into the night-
then time exploded and i ended up right here
my past a hangover and the future unclear
alone in a room, just me and my ghosts
started typing it out and this is what i wrote
never having a clue as to when or how the story ends
but I guess the truth is that it all depends
on how i'll feel when i open my eyes,
win or lose, the fun is in the surprise.
