...just ONE good thing."
Now you're five again,
fidgeting in your
yellow summer dress
a size too big
barefoot in a puddle
of one put-down
too many
This is just how we fell in love
but with roles reversed
"I wasn't saying-"
"No, Lucy, you're delaying,"
slaying my manhood
with your jaded sensibilities,
"... say it
just one good thing...
please!.."
You're 14 years old
desperate and defiant
longing to be the boy
your father wished for
but constantly haunted
by your budding breasts
that arrest you
in a world without justice
"Lucy!.."
You stare at me
21 and bewildered
the youthful roundness
starting to sharpen out
into crow's feet
before me
as the gravity of
my demolition solidifies
in your eyes
This is just how we fell in love
now it feels rehearsed
I turn and walk away
never looking back
no longer hoping
my throat is choking
on the words unsaid
that my gritted teeth
locked in
to preserve some painting
of you
my Lucy at 32
I turn to walk away
but you reach out
"Hear me out,"
you grasp
but then you say,
"Being with you
is better than
not being
with you....."
