The Mixtape

Look to the sky
He aint comin back
i've had the Big Guy on repeat
since my opening track
and He aint missed a beat
just letting us flow
how's He supposed to nurture us
without letting us grow
and be true to our mistakes?
He just threw us on the mixtape
and yet we fixate on resurrection
you'll find on further inspection
of the illest rhyme
the unmistakable connection
between skill and time
so just keep on spittin knowledge
when it feels like freedom is abolished
and scattered love has turned to fixed hate
remember: He threw us on the mixtape
to polish our lyrics
and if you find the truth in the booth
call it your spirit
lock it down so it never gets loose
call others to hear it
and as long as you're near it
look to the sky for He who wept
He ain't comin' back cos He never left.


*Keep seeking your truth.... J.R.

Watch 'er

She must be a dancer
well.... aren't they all?
it baffles me
that her feet could be so small
and the rest so soft
would she notice me if i coughed?
then what next?
i watch 'er knowing its wrong
but for the briefest flash
the hollowness is gone
and i begin to rise
she should have closed the door
i hover about the floor
before i lift my eyes
to watch 'er knowing she's wrong
to share that most private touch
she knows where i belong
but now she's sharing too much
she could have shut me out
yet she chose to share
i watch 'er knowing she knows i'm there
witnessing her show
in my conflicted despair
i find the room to grow
and wonder if i should raise my voice
do i come clean and let my manhood diminish?
or do i cower in silence and let her finish?
i watch 'er knowing my choice...

Whispers (Affairs in The Office Chapter 3)

"(Its a gamble...)
I have no clue what i'm about to say
and if you want to leave, i'll move out your way
but i believe every man has the right to ramble
i mean if its something that could rescue a soul
then its important, right?
its okay to look stupid if on the whole
stupidity wins the fight

And you're out of sight

What i mean is i hate this place,
this job, this life, this face
my friends, my clothes and that goddamned work space!!
i hate who i am in a place like this
is it mad to believe you can be saved by a kiss?
I hate everything about this office
but here i stand
much as i'd hoped but not like i planned
where i dream of being everyday
next to you not knowing what to say

except that you're the "why"

cant put this right no matter how much i try
but i've seen the parts of you that hurt
you see, we come to work
and instinctively perform
yet maybe something in us refuses to conform
like how you hum to yourself even though its forbidden
and all your desk ornaments that you keep so well hidden
i'm not even spying on you from where i sit
just been searching for a reason and i know you're it
why keep coming here if it fills me with hate?
why take on extra loads and stay to work late?
why put myself though all that work puts me through?

why even bother? well that "why" is you

if i'm freakin you out, i'll be done in a minute
they say nothings worth doing if its got no love in it
cant carry this around any more on my chest
its so rare that i'm with you away from the rest
but i've been dying to tell you that when we're alone
well home..., you feel like home..."

Coffee Break (Affairs in The Office Chapter 2)

We felt it coming
but what went down between these two?
No one saw so no one knew
but they looked stunning
when they waltzed out of that copy room
floating like cotton candy in the air
thinking they're clever
that they can play their little game forever
ok, we dont know what happened cos we werent there
but something changed
something strange and mystical
befell this pair
and, as always, we missed it all
her with her ruffled hair
and his stupid grin
cant wait for the rumors to begin
then we'll see, this love cant last
no one saw and no one asked
waiting till the last minute of the coffee break
i bet they waited till every fibre of their bodies ached
till every sensation pointed in one direction
thats probably when they burst into unlawful affection
that we never saw and we never heard
all we know is he wooed her with words
thats how the rumors began to disperse
all that we know is there were whispers...

Con-grad-ulations

Finally made it...



Limbo
so i've heard them refer to it
when you're stuck about what to do with
your life after grad
"I'd like to thank my mom and dad..."



this is a party
and i hardly want to think about
the world that fills me with doubt
lets have some food
to get us in the mood



we all gotta make moves



what this grad serves to prove
is that we are champions
even when we're afraid



my dues are paid
my bags are packed
dj bring that beat back
i wanna get funky



but what next?
life is just a ruse
i say we break out the booze
and cheers to the rest



passed the start but far from the end
this is where life begins for me
well not "me" but my dearest, bestest friend
whom i affectionately call DC



oh no, i'm not even close to that degree
even goldilocks here is closer than me!



and lets not undermine the future seeds



and liquor them up soon as they can breathe



no, i spent my time on the sidelines admiring this world



and i realised its so damn full of beautiful girls...



all of heaven's gorgeous pearls



bubble wrapped stars comin out at night



it turns out Sean Kingston was absolutely right:



they're way too beautiful, these girls



life's a joy ride until we're awake



for now i say be happy and eat cake



you made it!

The Partition (Affairs in the Office Chapter 1)

She sits a cubicle away
untouchable
he dreams of her all day
wishing he could find some excuse
some trivial question he could put to use
as an icebreaker
he wonders if she knows
how heavenly she glows
his life saver
and if she hears his heart pound
each time she comes around
his work area
how to speak his mind without scaring her....

She sits in her cubicle
imprisoned
longing to be with him
burning a hole through the partition
that keeps him at bay
nervously revising her mission
of finding the right thing to say
cant speak of the butterflies he sends to her gut
gotta be careful to not seem a slut
but will he respond to a flirt?
how to put herself out there without getting hurt....


they meet at the coffee break
determined....

Rock Garden

Learn to take for granted
seeds you planted
and might have to watch burn

just tell her

choose and lose
the unfair
but who's to win
if you cant begin
to stand there
and say the words

"you're the best part of my day"

dont live astray
give way to hope
bite your lip and just plunge
offer her a coke
or whatever she wants to sip
she might say

"Quench my thirst"

you wont be the first
to get drenched in hurt
so ball up your fist
and weigh which is worse
to stay benched
or take the risk

play her music

how can you move if
you choose not to dance
you cant lose it
till you take the chance
to stop staring at clocks
and wonder whats pullin' em
grow some rocks
life is full of 'em

Martha's Law

Her handbag's full
worry worms its way out the flap
can she handle the crap?
late for school

lawyer's shoes
make room for lawyers' blues
but she's got guts
rolls with the bruises and cuts

tumbles till time gives way
they'll hear what she has to say
for will can change the world
keep your eyes on this girl

not so shy, not so scared
late for class but came prepared
i feel the struggles that you go through
might stay home but i'm right there with you



*For our girl.... lady... for our LADY Martha; not just for the styling tips but for not forgetting us S.6. vaccists. Love you girl, keep your head up and i'm here if ever you need me. (Except in the morning cos i'm sleeping and sometimes in the afternoon cos i gotta nap and not too late into the night cos i gotta get my beauty sleep, but any other time....oh and NOT weekends or holidays cos thats my me-time.... but any OTHER time) "Vie tes reves et reve pas ta vie!"

Fear of flying

flies for friends
was a time when i could fly to the end
of time and space
now there's too much spit in my face
their love was just a charade
no parades unless you're saving the world
only infantile insults hurled
but you wont see me hoping,
its gone, I'm broken

papers printing prophecies
even my shadow wont talk to me
evolved to obsolete
cant taste the food i eat
because i'm a waste of space
and they spit too much spit in my face
if you cant fly fast
the past doesnt count
only the world around
you jump, its just you and the ground
i cant save lives
its gone and i dont know why

ever expanding evidence
havent slept a wink ever since
they began to build their case
i deserve the wrath but not spit in the face
they used to think i was beautiful
when i could fly
they'd look up to the sky
and marvel but i was just being dutiful
until i let her slip away
if you cant fly fast enough
then you better sit and stay
like a good dog, be rough
cos one slip can cost you everything
you jump not knowing what heaven brings
or what hell presents
my love is gone and i make no sense

Car ride ( the jitters part 1)

Blue and white balloons
we better get there soon
before i lose my nerve
driver hits an awkward curve
and has to swerve around a kid in the street

lucky child with the world at his feet
i mean i love her
cant stand her family, ESPECIALLY that crazy brother
(its mutual)
but i love her, nothing there unusual
however... are we ready?
am I?
there's so much-... gwe, where are you heading?
driver gives me that eye
probably knows whats intoxicated my mind
"maybe we wont make it in time"

i love her but i'm not yet "there"
its been nothing but weeks of "blue and white balloons"
"purple or pink streamers?" i dont care!
but i'd better start to care soon....

Relapse

Its been several months and countless days
since my last drink
I'd say its toughest pulling off the freeways
when i have to think:

will i make it home tonight?

amidst an infestation of bars
resisting a temptation i dont want to fight
its toughest alone in my car
when all that stands between you and i
is that moral conundrum of: do or die?

you are my catch-22

its not fair how you tease me every night
why cant easy ever be right?
i gotta keep it together
my sponsor says i'm getting better
healing that cut sore
but what for?
give you up and then.... whats the point?
i only ever felt at home in a cheap gin joint
only ever felt loved in your arms
how can i be asked to give up your charms?

The babies
thats whose keeping me strong
without booze steering me wrong
i can fight the urge on the daily
cos soon i'm going to be a father
gotta keep you away if i'ma make it
so i drive passed, not cos i'm not bothered
its that i've taught myself how to fake it.