A love of ice and fire

He sketched her silhouette in bed
"so i'll always remember," he said
but she couldnt understand his mind
he painted her to forget he was blind

Her infectious giggle
he tried to capture the essence of her charm
he sketched her, dying a little
with each new stroke, love dealt harm

She said, "Show me what you've got"
but his wounded heart had begun to clot
he had to hide that he was sick
her magical portrait was fading quick

What would he miss the most?
how could he illustrate what he felt?
almost as if he'd loved a ghost
he sketched her knowing she'd soon melt.

Climbing rocks

Careful!
she's got claws this lady
hell no! you cant have my baby
black cat in the still night
purr, kitten, purr
watch her try to put up a fight
err, human is to err
climbed in through the windows
both of us strays
happiness fades, misery stays
climbed in and licked my thin toes
quite kinky
wrapped me round her pinkie
climbed to the top of the roof
cold air
set against the life of a solitaire
climbed up off the rocks
reversing clocks
familiar warmth in a bubble-wrapped box.


For Painkiller J... consider me your bubble wrap.

Her testimony

"...for acts egregious..."
i'm quoting from the papers you filed
Lord, Jesus...
who are you to call me vile?!
After all the years we spent
through job promotions to when we had no rent
i stayed
sleepless nights not knowing where you went
i prayed
and somehow thats egregious?
Heavens please us!
You were right in one thing:
I will fight for every cent
did i ever leave you wanting?
swear it now in front of the judge
when you were groaning and panting
were you ever short of love?
No, you just weren't clever
i let your cheating go on forever
and your thanks is to take me to court?
Isnt that egregious thanks for my support?
But i wont be the fool
cooked your meals, took Junior to school
massages, fanned you when you were hot...
you're gonna pay me everything you've got
and you will get me everything you dont
for go on playing the fool, i wont
claiming you loved me without returning proof
too long, i've ignored the burning truth
And of course
you thank me by filing for divorce
Suddenly realising that our son needs us
He's needed us for the twelve years since he was born!
Your Honour, i submit his love as the act egregious
for it has turned me to a woman scorned.

HIs Testimony

Not my son

please

here, you have me on my knees
i know
go on, smile
enjoy the show
here, is this what you want?
public humiliation for me?
you vile fucking cunt
no wait, no, i'm sorry
your honour, ladies and gents
strike that
i havent slept in a while
she's egging me on cos she knows i'll bite back
thats her style
but i'm not here for the dollars and cents
i want only my son
thats it, my son and i'm done
are you pleased with yourself?
dragging our boy through this shit
he's only...-yeah, pardon me for that-
he's only twelve
oh, you probably forgot
do you really think he can handle it?
think of his health
see, you cant raise him on your own
a job? i'll get a job TODAY
or a fucking loan
yes, i'll make up for the child support i have to pay
is it always about the money
you fucking bitch
sorry
fucking... sorry its just funny
your new man is bloody rich
and you're sweating me for a few hundred?
you heard what the fuck i said!
sor-.... no wait...she's...
let me finish before the verdict is read
please
judge, members of the jury
i want only my son
but hell hath no fury.

In the thick of it

They took the capital by night
reports suggest heavy losses
on both sides
as the situation worsens
loss of anonymous lives
the malnourished kids versus
the land owning bosses
i can report there was indeed a fight
(not a massacre as they'd predicted)
an all out war in this "third world" nation
presidential advisers will puzzle over their miscalculation
thousands, tens of thousands evicted
from their homes
only they cant seek refuge in superdomes
reports coming in...
scattered reports of mortar fire
in a land that bears martyrs for hire
the heroes cant win
only the just
visibility impaired by a cloud of dust
one can barely make out the moon
reporting live, more to come, stay tuned.....

Recurring thoughts

Complexity
is not having you next to me
wish i could take it all back
get some rest-
whats this vice-like pain to the chest?
My God! i think i'm having a heart attack!
and your face is all i want to see
before i'm gone
your beautiful face crying for me
knowing i've been wrong
my entire left side's gone numb
all i have is the memory of your voice
baby, we dont get to make a retrospective choice
but is it too late to say i was a dumb
stupid, shitheaded bastard jerk?
maybe if i.... if i could just...
no, sympathy wont work
i'm blacking out, dust to dust
i've figured out... i've.....
listen
i was only alive....
there's so much in my head
.... only alive because of that thing you said:

Complexity
is recurring thoughts of you vexing me

and this is as plain a letter as i can write
dust to dust, goodbye sweet night

Legacy

Dont speak to me of destiny, you hypocrite
if fate spells doom its best to be illiterate
invest in me
let your love bloom and manifest in me
you've been blessed with me
so to disrespect would be like bless-phemy
its your quest to see
the world doesnt think more or less of me
than i am
just a man
bangin out his master plan
resurrect in me
the best of me
and damn whats left of me
there's nothing left to see
give all you can
the rest is free.

Land of the mulatto

Ah ah! these ones dont grind corn
they eat "cornflakes" out of boxes
i wonder where they were born
i'm like a jackal in a country of foxes

Eh mama! check their skin
oba how do they be so thin?
me let me admire their figures
nanti some of us are black, some niggers

Even their language is a secret
where ervery worrrrd hars arn erxtra "r"
they walk like soil hasn't touched their feet yet
us all we have is who we are

But its like their hearts are broken
like they miss home or they've forgotten
after so long again our paths crossed
bambi, i think they must have been lost.

Childhood Skates

Dont forget to kiss her goodnight
right before you turn out the light
put your lips to her ear and say:
"I die each sleep you go away,
i bleed when i cant dream of you..."
and a million other sweet things untrue
but try to mean it

you dont have to be honest to be sincere

just tell her you love her while she's still here
cos one day you wake up and cant recall
why you even bother to open your eyes at all

And if she loves to dance
then now's your chance to sweep her off her happy feet
do your best to make her fantasies complete
and search for all the things she's yearning for
its the little things that wound the core
for when you're no longer her private dancer
you'll observe how love becomes a cancer
but you wont want the cure
just tell her you love her while you're still sure

The fights, oh! relish the fights
when she's left
Paris will dim to blurry lights
and you'll remember how she wept

those tears are yours on demand

when the delicacies of the world taste of sand
you'll search for her reflection in the plates
cherish her like a pair of childhood roller-skates
for one night you wake up alone and then
you'll fight sorrows just to live
once you realise she will never be here again
"a bright tomorrow" is just a myth

The Proposal

The callous sun beats down on him like a bully
one eye open: "what hour of the day is it?"
barely there, he can not stretch himself out fully
ringing headache like a stray cat back to visit

The aftertaste of courage seeps out his ears
stupid ring in his palm stares back at him defiant
refusing to misplace itself amongst his fears
he planned to bail but fate had long snared its client

In time her train pulls into the station
foggy steam blackening the already gray sky
one never is quite prepared for such a situation
we skip the "how?" and merely cater to the "why?"

Throngs fliter out, the tension is numbing
"Who the hell are all these people who are not you?"
Suddenly, he remembers that she's not coming
he never knew her, never let himself want to

He just tried to do what he knew was right
no matter how much beer he needed to do it
he'd waited all day and drank through the night
she wasn't coming and at least now he knew it

To think that love weighed no more than a hollow ring
he tossed it where nothing good would ever grow
and closed his eye hoping death would be following
"You're not coming and at least now i know."

Remember we

Even rocks bleed
here we tryin to paint the moon
but Jaja done plant the seed
soon, freedom come soon

O the earth not gon' tremble
me no humbug from the pain
great grandchildren all assemble
rain, Lord let it rain

Dusty drums recall the echo
sun dried memory fade away
the time has come to let go
today, we free today

Pillow Talk

Let me rest
What? what is it you want to hear?
that i found you almost attractive- at best!-
after several rounds of beer?

I'm using you

needed to clear my head
you're just a rest stop i'm cruising through
on MY way to MY half empty bed

I was horny, you were willing
its not like we're mar-...what am i killing?
the mood? i'm killing the MOOD?
trying to sleep here and you're just being rude!

I'm using you
its not easy getting over a goddess
you give yourself away without choosing to
like you did to me... look: i'm just being honest

Yes, you were better than good, you were great!
is this gun-point flattery why you're keeping me awake?
I mean you already kinda, sorta helped me recapture my youth
there's no more need to pretend, so here is the truth:

I am using you
to get over losing She
I'm abusing you
to bury the wounds in me

Dropped call

If flowers never again should bloom
then drowsy whispers bespelled their doom
may tears of penitence flood the earth
so one should learn a woman's true worth

If i'm nevermore blessed with that voice
then i shatter my own ear drums by choice
and shed my skin in spiritual rebirth
so one should learn a true woman's worth

If, indeed, the phone line's gone dead
then one grows rocks where hearts are bred
while his youth longs for its days of mirth
left contemplating the truth of a woman's worth

Perfect fit

Let me to my misery for at least she is faithful

I dont want you
I want misery because she never leaves
you are temperamental but she haunts my every dream
whispering to me, even as she breaks my heart
"Misery will be your only company, we will never part."

So to hell with you and your tears of joy
and those mood conditioned hugs
i'm eternally misery's boy
because i am who misery loves.

State of Grace

You are losing friends
living as the means to an end
come close
i will love you where you hurt the most
love you in all my splendour
offer absolution through holy ghosts
say after me: "i surrender"

the world is left in ashes
force one tear passed your eyelashes
and i will save your soul
weep for me and i will rescue you whole
save for that unwashable human stain
which will in leaded blood remain

but i am you and You set free
will You spare some absolution for me?

Back in time

Imagine seeing how time aged
Never afraid, never deathly intimate
I stand here truly amazed
Not awestruck, no.... dazed infinite

Cant help thinking about you and that doesnt bother me anymore
I resign to being a living sore.

1439

Cant always be about what i want
but you wont teach me to give you what you need
I'm trapped on Mars, babe
what's a kiss worth if it aint ours, babe?
Would have never pegged you for a quitter
i guess you could say i'm bitter
thats probably the best way to describe how i feel
bitter that what we had wasnt there, wasnt real

except for one minute

when you made my every wish come true
and promised me an eternity with you
we'd never even met
but its how that one minute felt that i cant forget
knowing you fully believed in me
might seem silly now but back then we were free
and all we had was a dream of a 50's lounge
somewhere in space... how weird that all sounds

just for one minute i had all i wanted in mnd
yet it cant be about what i want all the time
so i block you out for all the other 1439
but for a minute each day, i relive when you were mine.

The battle of the alleycats

I wished he'd just kick me in the butt
cos if i felt something, i'd know i wasnt a fluke
he read my mind but kicked me in the gut
asked how i felt, i said," like puke."

He said i looked like it too
like the heavens had barfed me onto platea
what if it was just something i was going through
he had no right to call me out like he was a soothsayer

I explained to him i had lost a goddess
he didnt appreciate me being honest
so he told me the most truthful lie
he said,"we are all born to die."

He said,"Hearts are given so we can feel the pain,
the sun is only here to illuminate the rain..."
and he just went on and on kickin knowledge
he didnt realise i didnt need to go to college
to know that i was a victim of his hustle
"i dont lift weights, i just flex my brain muscle"

But he still wasnt impressed by my ironic wit
he kicked my chair across the room while i was on it
thus began the battle of the alleycats
i hoped he'd just beat me up badly, fast
cos i was tired of remembering her sleepy voice
i let him kick my ass like i didnt have a choice
just let the pain overwhelm me till i became someone else

-then ma turned on the light and yelled, "Quit fighting with yourself!"